INTJ
the conceptual planner
INTJs and relationships
In their personal relationships, people with INTJ preferences often feel like they need to take care of other people by solving their problems for them. While this isn’t always the case, it is one of the most endearing and admirable aspects of their personalities and is usually met with gratitude from friends and family.
INTJs and conflict
INTJs don’t often engage in conflict with others as it can take a lot to make them angry or frustrated. Their direct, matter-of-fact approach means they generally take criticism well and don’t take things personally. However, they may become irritated when other people let their emotions get the better of them and behave irrationally.
If other people are arguing, INTJs may offer their blunt opinions, but they won’t usually interfere or intervene.
If you have INTJ preferences, you can minimize conflict in your relationships by:
- Focusing on active listening rather than trying to solve the problem. This may not come naturally to you. Try to remember that sometimes people just need to vent their frustrations.
- Keeping your opinions to yourself when others are in conflict. Instead, try offering advice to help others communicate and see each other’s sides of the situation.
- Trying not to keep your emotions bottled up when in a conflict. Try to communicate your own emotions calmly and without anger.
INTJs and love
People with INTJ preferences are often the caretakers of their relationships. While they may not always communicate their feelings in words, they show them in their actions instead. INTJs are usually the ones to change a light bulb, pick their partner up from work, or encourage their partner to ask for a raise. They also notice patterns in the relationship and try not to make the same mistake twice.
INTJs pride themselves on being loyal and dependable. They aren’t typically all that sociable, but they do enjoy spending a lot of quality time with the person they love.
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INTJs and parenting
The MBTI® framework can be very helpful when it comes to raising children. Knowledge of your own communication habits, stress triggers, and preferences often makes parenting easier. By integrating an awareness of differences into family life, the whole family can benefit from these insights.
Parents with INTJ preferences will likely look for “parenting hacks” and ways to become better parents through trial and error. They often want to improve themselves for their children, who likely appreciate the energy and engagement.
As parents, INTJs are likely to feel stressed when their children behave in an irrational or unpredictable way or can’t move on from a tantrum.
If you have INTJ preferences and you think your child shares your Intuition and Thinking preferences, this can help you to understand how your child takes in information and makes decisions—both of which are important for how you communicate as a parent. If you think your child’s preferences are different than yours, self-awareness will help you to change your communication and parenting style to better suit those preferences.
INTJs and friendship
INTJs are talkative and attentive friends. They listen intently when their friends are talking and will often remember things friends have said in the form of a gift or a recommendation later on.
People with INTJ preferences may come across as too direct or matter-of-fact for some people. To the people they’re close with, though, they are kind, caring, and always willing to help.